There’s a version of you that other people would prefer. 

One that’s easier to influence, doesn’t ask hard questions, doesn’t set boundaries, and doesn’t change. They don’t prefer this version because it makes you better. They prefer it because it makes them, and their ego, comfortable.

Memento Mori isn’t just about remembering that life has an ending. It’s also about accepting the fact that there’s going to be an end to the person you were yesterday. The awkward you from freshman year in high school — gone. The nervous, timid you when you started your first real job — also gone. The person you are today? They’re eventually going to be gone, too. But the goal is to replace each one of those with a stronger, wiser version of yourself as you learn and build from both your losses and victories.

But the truth that most people don’t like to talk about is that growth makes them uncomfortable. For some, when they see someone accelerate past them, it strikes a nerve in a way they might not be able to explain. Whether it’s envy, jealousy, or fear, it makes them feel uncomfortable. And this is where you need to be careful not to fall victim to the common trope of being pulled back into the person you’re starting to outgrow.

“You’ve changed,” they’ll say, as they attempt to make you feel guilty for something you’re genuinely proud of. They’ll tell you it’s a phase and you’ll be back soon. Some will even slowly pull away because the person they were comfortable with no longer exists.

You have to let them. 

The Stoics understood this. Marcus Aurelius wrote that the opinion of thousands is irrelevant if it contradicts truth. And the life you’re building, along with the person you’re becoming, is your truth.

You don’t have to be rude or stop interacting with those you’re outgrowing, but you do need to be cautious of their motives, whether they’re intentional or not. And you sure as hell shouldn’t let another person’s insecurities restrict your ambitions.

We need to remember that life has seasons. And we outgrow those seasons, along with the memory of ourselves we left there. It’s important to remember where we came from, because it will help us better understand who we’ve become. But this process of growth is something you, and only you, will truly understand. So don’t become a victim to the guilt and pressure designed to do nothing but keep you stagnant.

They people who are meant to walk with you will catch up, I promise. The ones who you’re supposed to be around will be there. The ones who aren’t will not, and that’s okay.

So, stop apologizing for who you’re becoming.

The Alignment Audit

Take five minutes this week and answer these three questions:

Don’t overthink it, just write some things down.

 Then pick one and act on it.