J.K. Rowling, Henry Ford, and Thomas Edison. What do all of these people have in common?​

J.K. Rowling’s first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times prior to actually being published. Henry Ford went bankrupt before starting the Ford Motor Company. And Thomas Edison tested thousands of concepts prior to creating a working lightbulb.

You see, they all suffered seemingly massive failures prior to their biggest successes. This is what we don’t see. This is what we don’t think about when we see the end result.

Failure is not the end. In fact, it’s a major part of the beginning, middle, and end to your story. I get it, failure isn’t fun, glamorous, or enjoyable. It isn’t what you go bragging to your friends about, what you put on your social media feed, and it’s certainly not a main bullet point on your resume.

So, if that’s the case, then why, at times, do you identify yourself as a “failure?”

Seriously, think about that for a second. You wouldn’t lead the conversation on a first date with, “Hi, I f**ked up about 18 times last week, you wanna go grab coffee?” First off, that’s a bad tactic (obviously). And second, you’re trying to show them your best self. Why not show yourself your best self? You can’t do that if you’re identifying with your failures.

Stop beating yourself up for failing. Identify it and reframe it.

Failure is data, not defeat.

Think about it this way:

You tried something one way, and it didn’t go as planned. Yeah, you failed. Big deal. But you know what it gives you? It gives you the data that the way you tried is incorrect. And now you’re one step closer to figuring it out.

Instead of seeing it as negative, you need to view it as a stepping stone to growth, learning, and success. It’s about changing the narrative you tell yourself.​

Practical Steps:

Failure as Feedback
"I failed." → "I learned."

Failure as a Temporary Setback
"I'll never succeed." → "It's just a step in the process."

Failure as Growth
"I'm not good at this." → "I'm in the process of getting better."​

Failure as Redirection
"This didn't work, so I'm done." → "This path wasn't right, but I'm closer to the right one."

Failure as Part of Success
"I failed, so I'm not good enough." → "Every success story includes failures."

Write down a past failure and list three lessons you gained from it.